doing things slowly makes me happier

this is my new way of thinking and doing, kind of like this new beautiful awesome Ferris wheel that we rode in Atlanta. it goes very slow and to me this is how we are able to find the peace in the things we do.
for so long i have been so in a hurry to do things quickly and under pressure that it made me sick. (literally my anxiety was always at an all-time high. especially always trying to beat the clock or trying to do to much because i promised to much.

now i see that i am in control and not the other way around. don't get me wrong when you are in survival mode and you are the only one responsible for your way of life you  will do anything to get to that place of security.

i feel that as long as we are doing the best that we possibly can, that is all that matters and everything will fall into place.  more and more my plate becomes fuller and my life becomes busier and i fall more behind. I'm always trying to catch up and do the things on my list. i tend to skip over the hard things and do what is easier but the hard things are still there and i know i have to do them. well this is called procrastination. yes i do do this.ha ha. and this is not doing my best so once i acknowledge it i will make a huge effort to make it happen and put all other things aside.

I'm always thinking of what i need to do and what I'm going to do and what new things i can make and how i can be more and its like a whirlwind inside my head all the time.  i have list and journals everywhere that i write in and sketch in and put ideas in.  its a lot!!!! my brain makes me tired. there's only a few things that make me stop. one is sleeping. one of my top 3 things to do. and the other is.. well i think that is it. maybe a movie, if i go to a movie theater where i can't see to write or find things to make....ha ha.

ok so do one thing at time slowly and peacefully, always do your best, get lots of sleep, watch movies occasionally, and make lots of lists. oh and don't compare yourself to anyone but who you were yesterday.



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