happy life

 being a mom is hard work...for me anyway, although i wouldn't have it any other way.  to speak out and to express is always good you never know who you might touch and or possibly ease the challenges for others that may feel the same way. for me its very comforting to know that i to am not the only one that goes through these life challenges alone. 
for those of you that don't know me, you probably wouldn't know this but my 2 older kids went to go live with their dad in tennessee the earlier part of this year.  it was and is a very messy circumstance.  those of you that know how much this would hurt as a mom well maybe you can only know the heartache that came with this. and that still comes.

 i still do have christian who lives here with me and with his dad, every other week. I'm one of those moms who never imagined that my life would be this way but have made the best of it.  the farthest thing from the traditional family.  I'm not sure why it turned out this way but this is my life and journey, i could always say things could be worse, BUT i will not say that BECAUSE in my moment and in my life this is worse.
all of my kids are with me in this moment for fall break and then will be going back soon. as a mom and the mom that i am, i work very hard to try to be able to do and give them what they need.  i will share that its very hard to do things that will ultimately make them happy, for it is hard to MAKE kids happy,  this is way beyond my control, the only thing i can control is to be a good mom and to make sure I'm in control of situations when they arise and to be in control of how i react to the situations.


the way my family life affects my creativity is above and beyond......the trials and tribulations that life has given me is a blessing. for i am able to feel things deeply and  dig deep into my soul where my family has touched.  to be able to deal with and function i can express the joy and pain and the non traditional life that others too may have and help them realize that they too are not alone. 



Comments

Watering Words said…
In a world where more often than not, people keep silent about their deepest wounds, quiet about their heartfelt pain, and portray that all is well even to friends, I truly appreciate what you've shared. For even though my struggle is different, sharing helps me realize I'm not the only one with a tiresome mountain to climb which makes the "aloneness" whither away. Thank you.
I too had my only son go live with his dad during the week a age 7. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, so it was heart wrenching. After getting through that for 4 years, then his dad wanted full custody instead of joint. Long story short, it took me down financially to defend our joint custody, and then my ex stopped letting my son come here anyway for the last few years of high school. We are trying to get our once super close relationship back, but he feels far from me after all the games that have been played. I relate to your story and love your art and long to do something that I love with my broken life. I have an English degree and a theater minor and sing, and love creativity and art. I have been in real estate for 14 years, but lately it is not providing for me at all. I am searching, trying to find a place for my life and a purpose in this brokenness and some stability or a fresh start.
Looking at your art, I would have had no idea you had two precious children living in another state. I know that pain, and my heart goes out to you and prayers are going up for you and the kids. Thanks for your beautiful designs.

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