aha moment..... listening to your inner voice the first time


okay so sometimes it takes me awhile for things to click in my brain to assure me that iam doing the right thing. and the way i know is that i have this aha moment where i am very happy and excited and i feel it deep in my soul and heart that this is it.

so i stared my newsletter campaign a couple of months ago which was one of my goals for a long time with a dear friend who helped me get it launched it is something definitely outside of my normal box and i have anxiety about figuring it out...but we did it. i just did my 3rd one. let me start by saying i stink at writing as ive been told before i shouldnt think about writing i should just write. of course i dont, i stress and rewrite and erase and worry about what it says and so on. this last newsletter in my opinion had no life to it was really sad the Way it turned out.

so i go on and look at ideas of how to make news letters better and what to put in the subject line so people will open of course my subject line was not suggested a good one after the fact that it already went out.

so heres where the light bulb comes on and everything is full circle and im screaming with happiness inside..ha ha not really...when i first thought about doing a news letter i wanted to call it art therapy 101 and talk about the art work i created in which is therapy to me for what im going through at this time in my life..what i need in words to help me with everyday life struggles, when i say words i mean words that i use in my work.... so the body of the newsletter was going to be me explaining my life and how these words and illustrations are therapeutic in hopes to being able to touch others that might be feeling the same way.

but here is where i loose myself . i did not follow through i did not trust myself i was not even being myself (in those first few newsletters) i second guessed my self i was thinking what other people would think it was stupid i am constantly comparing myself to others and dissing me. okay that means i look down on myself thiningk iam not good enough.

why it took this exact moment for me to realize i needed to go with my first gut feeling and why i didnt listen to that little voice inside my head the first time i have no idea . but i did realize that this is what i do with alot of things in my life. i have very little confidence which ive known my whole life but im always fighting through trying to bring myself up and facing all the challenges that go with low self esteem etc.

so at that very moment last night i wrote my march newsletter and there was no struggle what so ever it just flowed out of my soul and heart like water. and it was me this is who iam. im doing what is natural not 2nd guessing and it was so awesome to have this feeling...just like im writing right now this is me and who iam. i have a very gentle spirit and a fragile heart and soul. im not sure why but thats who iam.

my art and creativity does not flow all the time sometimes it takes a while for me to have the creative spark. when i try to force it i can feel the awkwardness. and for some reason im comparing myself to others and trying t0 be like somebody im not. if i could chill with the comparisons and be me.

iam so syked about my new work that will definetly touch on this so that i can share with others that might be going through the same thing..this is why i create so that i can make a beautiful card and step back and look at it and be reminded of what i need to feed my soul.

so be on the look out for vintage girl designs art therapy 101
listening to your inner voice march issue

on another note my weakness keep me form succeeding the way i want to be. and my weaknesses are all things that i can change if i would just be myself and stop 2nd guessing and have the confidence that i should....it sounds easy but its not. take care hope to hear your thoughts on this. love you to all who support me and encourage me everyday.

Comments

Justine said…
Hi Michelle - first want to say WOW: art therapy 101 sounds fantastic! I LOVE the name for a news letter. I look forward to reading it and I know with that title you will get many bites.

Second, yet again another great post and why I always enjoy your writing, as it is straight from the heart.

Self doubt is so defeating isn't it. You just have to learn to let your real voice, the real you, speak louder than that annoying little negative one. Easier than it sounds I know - I am still trying to learn to turn up the volume on mine!

Keep doing what your doing - your doing it great!

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