not so good right now

some people have all the luck slash success, and it really is exciting to see when other peoples dreams come true, but i must say the thing that kills me is when you see someones dream come true that you to meaning me have been trying to achieve and for much longer and they pretty much surpass all expectations and you meaning me is still well atleast i feel as if im still chopping away at it and getting pretty much the same distance a i have for the past couple of years. it kind of blows my mind. okay so i have this inspirational line of products that i design that i make (each one by hand) and that i also sell pretty much sell on my own , although today i did get an order from a store in MI. that was good happy news. im signed up on a current mailing list of this artist im sure you can guess who it is that just launch her new line that another co. makes for her, and everything pretty much sold out in hours. i want to be excited but a part of me can not help but be upset i feel like iam doing something wrong and not right. so if i pull out my own inspiration to keep my spirits up, that i put into my own products it would be

everthing happens for a reason
let go and let god
its going to be okay have faith
be yourself
confidence
its time to fly journey explore learn
this too shall pass
surrender all
pray often
realize how good you really are

im sure i have more but thats all i can think of off the top of my head right now.
i just dont understand why my journey has to be as it is.?????
does this kind of stuff happen to you and bother you the way it does me or am i just well i cant think of a good word . im just really upset right now and i need to fight through as i have before and i need to make some major changes in my life with my so called business.

oh and by the way this is a new design that i finished today. i came up with this affirmation while working at a show 2weeks ago when i was writing in my journal.....

Right now there is no peace or balance.....but maybe the more i look at this design it will bring me peace because i really like it its almost exactly what i imagined it to be.......